hopping on one foot trying to get the blasted thing on while swatting mosquitos, shouting
petit crocodillo! at the same time. Of course on seeing my naked Irish body that I had spent
7 weeks nurturing to a healthy pinkish mango colour, everyone collapsed laughing in that
snorting French way.
I was advised that perhaps I should get some sun et peut-etre me embronze. I
muttered that I'd been in the tropics for two months, which was greeted by those peculiarly
unabashed French yodels of disbelief. I quickly covered my body before it blinded them with its
luminescence incroyable and swore not to take it out again before it resembled a pickled beetroot.
In the evenings it´s back to Mom´s bar and hang out with the regulars. Which is of course
why I went on a round-the-world adventure, to escape from my
everyday humdrum life of going to seedy bars and hanging out with the regulars. We watch a lot of sport. Baseball,
basketball, American "Football", a strange game which appears to offer little if no
connection between the "foot" and the "ball", and indeed rarely
involves any actual playing of sport at all. I think it´s really a sort of extended debating
society for oversized men wearing camp costumes.
Tomorrow I start a two-week tour of Mexico, Belize and Guatemala.
I´m going with a tour group,
Funky Tours, so you know who to write to for my remains.
I looked at the websites of a lot of companies, searching for a tour of central America.
Funky Tours that felt human, not a corporate fake. I got an sense of the kind of people
behind it, and I thought that we´d get on all right, as we muck in to do the camping chores together.
Plus my other reason for joining a group
in Guatemala is to avoid sudden machete death alone in the steamy jungle nights.
I´ve checked out my
group, and I believe I can run the fastest: "You fend them off and I´ll fetch help..."
We´re going to Tulum, EL Remate, Flores, Tikal, Antigua, Lake Atitlan, The Chichicastenango market,
San Cristobal, San Juan Chamula, Zinacantan, Agua Azul, Misol-Ha and Palenque. Keep an eye on
the "other parts of the world are horrid" section of the news reports. Look for sightings of a pale
pinkish-orange ghoulish figure, passing at great speed through mountain villages and shrieking
"But it WAS their turn to do the washing up..."